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No More
Too many times in my life I was made a fool of. I was an easy target. This happened at the playground, at family reunions, in school, in relationships, at church, and in marriage.
I am sick of worshiping other gods. And the sneaky trick of the enemy was that I didn't even know I was doing it.
Some of these other gods I think we all have been worshiping. We don't mean to. We have probably created and worshiped more of them than any of us can count.
I was doing this in marriage. One day, after fasting and praising and praying for what felt like forever, God gave me a way out. He set my feet firmly on The Rock and He gave me a new song to sing.
It wasn't always that way.
I was worshiping at altars of “well, he's my husband so...” and “...well you KNOW God hates divorce so....” and “everyone will turn their backs on you if you...”
But I no longer worship at the altars of those false gods, and yes, God hates divorce but He does NOT hate divorced people. I hate divorce too. It's completely awful. God gave information about divorce to FREE women; not to imprison them. Divorce is not the biggest most evil issue in the Bible but in this culture we've made the Marriage Certificate a god we worship with more reverence than almost anything else.
And the fear of what anyone else thinks...well that's from the enemy too. I don't worship at the altar of fear.
I catered to my husband's every need while he did not care for mine. Some moments, when he didn't know I was listening, I got to hear exactly how much he did not care for mine yet I stayed anyway. My heart was broken at least every week for 18 years over something. And it didn't have to be that way. But it just was.
This part is to wives who may need to hear. Wives, I'm talking to you and I'm praying for you. If someone demands respect while giving none (or almost none), and keeps treating you in a way that is not Christ-like, I pray you find footing, love yourself enough, and finally look Up. Someone's moods are not supposed to be your gods. In case you aren't aware of this, you are VERY much worth loving. Just because you exist, and not because of what you can do for someone. You are worth being cared for emotionally. Sometimes the one you haven't been loving very well is yourself. The enemy keeps trying to distract you because when you get to REALLY see the full purpose God created you for, nothing will stop you.
I believe God will have a lot to say about the way His daughters have been treated; this means whether single, married, about pornography, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and all other ways, too.
If someone is to cherish his wife “as Jesus loves the Church,” then how would that be measured? The wife would have some sort of feeling of being cherished, would she not?
Also a husband is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Many don't. The secret will be discovered. The wife ends up eventually finding out she's been the other woman; probably in many ways.
A wife is not meant to have to compete against everything she's been competing against to win her own husband's affections and attention day after day.
This is to some husbands who need to hear. Husbands, if there could be some truth in this, isn't it worth considering? Most of you have been stunted in growth by the enemy; probably long before you met the person you married. While I don't believe it's your fault what happened to you, the choice to become the man God is calling you to be is ultimately between you and Him. I see more in you that you haven't been able to see in yourself and it's time to let the tears fall and the healing begin because the things that stunted you are not your gods and your Father wrote more into your very being. I believe there is more to you than you've been living out. God wrote important purpose into you and the way you lead and love with integrity in EVERY area of your life from now on is so very important. You are VERY much worth loving.
I think some of us didn't even know what love looks like. God says people don't know what love is if they don't have a relationship WITH Him, which is not the same thing as knowing all ABOUT Him.
It's time to forgive yourself and to forgive others. That does not mean what someone did was okay. That means you give this stuff to God in prayer and ask Him to take that heavy weight you've been trying to carry all by yourself. He never, ever said to carry things yourself or to pretend. 
God gave me a way out under the temptation to stay any longer and worship false gods. The ONLY way I was able to get away was because of the faith my God gave me about this work He's shown me in visions and dreams about Alaska. My husband had found every boundary, even ones I hadn't found, and stepped and crushed every one over and over and over and I, without even realizing it, had made excuses for every time under the title of “well, he IS my husband so....”
But the ONE boundary he could not step on was my faith. God gives us a way out of temptation. And people who say there's a form of godliness but who deny its power, God says have nothing to do with them.
My God picked me up out of the muck and mire and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth. As for me and my house we will worship Him.
Wherever you are in your life, I pray God shows you healthy boundaries and gives you a firm place to stand in Him. Lord, please help deaf ears hear and let blind eyes see.
He is a jealous God and He loves you with a fierce and deep love enough to catch you – even when it feels like it's all falling apart.
Guest Author: Kerri Valor is a home-schooling mom of two young ladies and is Alaska bound. She has lived within, and through, abuse and has just arrived on the other side of 18 years of hell on earth to step into her full becoming; the devil can hold her back no more! We applaud her bravery and greatly appreciate her coming forth to speak her truth; the truth sets you, and others, free.
To support Kerri, and her girls, as they fulfill the vision God has given them to serve the homeless youth within Alaska please follow along with them as they journey forward. You will find them on their It Is All About Faith Blog as well as on Facebook.